Damage had been done.

Good job Adzlin, good job sangat. Things that ought to be avoided before, just happened. I don't know what is wrong with me duhh. I keep pushing people away. Why so hard for me to open my heart for someone? Few people had confessed their feelings for me. And I'll be like, ooookay dude, you're my friend so no. I've tried but still the same. But things are different with this one guy. Everything went smooth and all, and it turns up that he had feelings for me. Though I am not trying to deny that I feel the same way. I just keep it low and keep it at bay. Or the edge? Yass, I am afraid. Afraid of something I don't even know. Afraid to try. Afraid to care too much for the fear that I will fall hard after flying high with hopes and stuff. However, I am the one who is giving him hope. He said that I am the one who strengthen his feelings for me.


Memang. Memang aku yang salah. Aku tak try untuk halang menda cemni daripada jadi. Aku layan kan je. Tapi at the same time, aku cuba buka hati aku untuk dia.

Aku bengang, malu dengan diri aku sendiri. I was too deep in the feeling of grief, of dejection, of heartache, of *insert words with similar meaning here* that "that guy" had left me after giving me such hopes and without me realising it, I've been doing the same thing for this "new guy". I accidentally level myself with that selfish "former guy". Or maybe I even worse than him. Sigh.

At the same time, I am afraid this "new guy" is just my rebound. A rebound to fill the hollow gap the "former guy" had left me with. Oh, you do know the terms Rebound Relationship, do you?

So what shall I do now? Give it some more time or just live in the moment by giving this "new guy" a chance? Hard-thinking tho. Gtg. Subuh already.

Bye, Assalamualaikum!